A New Beginning

I was never like him. Never, but thanks to him, I have new found things in my life such as new friends, an open mind and a great personality. My name is Alan. Alan Smeth. I can tell you although I am 55, all these memories are still vivid to me from that time when I was that young lonely boy, to that man with great confidence. This is my story about how Jake Willus changed my life.

I had just moved from Germany and started in Australia in kindergarten. I had learnt very few words of English but I had managed to learn more words as time went on. I was put in the lowest maths group but everything I learnt I had learnt in Germany before. The following year, my teacher was happy with my result and I was put in the highest maths group and so far I was happy apart from two things. I didn’t have the self- confidence and because of this I didn’t have any friends. It was going to be a tough year.

I was sitting on the silver chairs in the lunch eating area and was all alone. This was the place where the grade 5 people ate. In a sudden movement a person sat down next to me. His name was Jake. My description for him was a tall boy with a gentle smile. He had a mop of dark brown hair that was so brown that a lot of people had mistaken it for black. He was friendly with everyone whether it was the girls in grade 6 or the kindys starting here on their first day. He was new too and had just moved from some other city town. Did I mention that I lived in Wodonga? Anyway, it was because of him that I became a different person in a good way. He didn’t say much to me but after a while he moved away. I blamed myself for not engaging him in a conversation but then he came back. He said nervously with a red face,

“I hope I didn’t offend you by walking away. I just saw something and went to go see what it was but… Anyway, my name is Jake Willus.”

And from that moment on, we were best friends. We met everyday at the front of the school but I told him that I had one problem. It was self confidence. Jake had a heap of friends but I only had him. If he went away to talk to someone such as some other popular boy, I just disappeared to the boy’s toilet. It was a Wednesday lunch and I was talking to Jake about how I could never seem to talk to anyone but him. That was when he came up with the most horrid idea had ever thought in my life up til then. He said quite mysteriously “I know a very easy solution to that. I just won’t come to school!” I was absolutely shocked. Jake wasn’t the type of guy that deliberately missed school. He loved every minute of it. Later would I realise that he was only doing it for me.

That very night I stayed awake thinking about what Jake had said. I managed to convince myself that it was all joke because of his happy smile, and his happiness for the rest of the day but deep inside me I knew I was wrong. His parents allowed him to do whatever he wanted and all I could think now was to sleep and forget about it for now.

The next morning was like normal. Had breakfast and brushed my teeth. However, when I arrived at school Jake wasn’t there. I could see no mop of nearly black hair nor could I see the tall figure with a gentle smile. I suddenly realised that his plan was to force me into making new friends. He knew that I could not bear being alone for all the day.

I survived for about the first period of the day but then forced me into asking to hang out with some other boys that very recess. They weren’t as bad as I expected them to be except one boy. His name was Ronald and was like the leader of the group and seemed to hate me because of my influence over the rest of them. Over the next few days I encouraged the other 3 boys (excluding Ronald) to join me in organising some activity for the kindergartens. They had found a new liking and eventually one boy called Rhys, became a preschool teacher and I am still in regular contact with him. Some of the other influences I had on them were the ability to behave. They watched me, praised me and looked at me as if I was their role model. I was most happy when Jake was back and I introduced him to the group. Both sides were pleased and so was I but all changed when Ronald decided to … err… break up the group as you may say by singling out me.

It was exactly 3 years after I became friends with Jake and it was also the last week of school. I had been friends with the 3 others from year 5 and now went to the same high school. The gang and I were laying the grass talking about what we were going to do for the holidays. Jake was going back to Canberra (that city town I mentioned at the beginning) to visit some friends from his old school. It seemed everyone in the school was going to go away except me. To make that exact, me, Rhys, Jarred, another friend and Ronald. Little would I know what was going to happen in those holidays.

The holidays were a two week period and Jake was going to be gone for 1 and a half of those weeks. I was to stay at home and read, study for my big piano exam. I was sad to think that would not see Jake for another long time but I always felt something magical about him. Something that told me not to worry about anything. It was this magical presence that pushed me through everything. Through barriers that made me breakdown, through times when I was in pain. Anyway, I decided to invite the gang to come and hang out at the park. We weren’t the naughty type so we never used drugs or cigarettes. I called them all but one of the boys called Dawei, (pronounced da-way) asked if he could invite Ronald. I didn’t want to be rude or anything but I still had that grudge with him. Nevertheless, I invited him too. I was so excited to hang out with these friends I had made, I forgot about Ronald altogether. I slept soundly that night thinking what fun the next day was going to be.

We now move on to the day I was expecting to be a really good day. I was waiting in the park when Dawei, Rhys and Jarred came up the path looking solemn. This was not the type of face I expected to see from any of them. Ronald, however, was looking rather pleased. When I asked Rhys what the matter was he just looked at his toes. I got the same response from all the others too except Ronald. It was when I said “Cheer up! Let’s go and play on those swings” and they seemed to forget about what they were thinking about and returned to their happy smiles. It was nearly time to go when Ronald came up to me and said “Mate, I’m really sorry that was a bit rude. Please forgive me. By the way, I’ve got a note from Jake.” It didn’t occur to me that Jake would never send a note through Ronald nor did it come to mind that he would never seem to say such things. As I was walking home I nearly burst into tears as I read the short but clear note. It said:

Alan, due to certain circumstances I don’t want to be your friend for much longer. I have found that the friends here are much better than you.

Jake

A lot of kids would say it would be betrayal. Some might say it to be unthinkable but yet, it was there in writing. I don’t know what happened for the rest of the day but I know what happened for the next couple of weeks. Jake had such an impact on my life that I became depressed. I started hanging out with Ronald and not the others. Ronald seemed to have found some new friends that were just as bad. I started smoking, vandalising and all my marks dropped because I felt that I had lost a part of myself. I forgot that magical presence about Jake and that thing to push me on. Rhys, Jarred and Dawei didn’t seem to want me anymore and Jake looked at me sympathetically every time I passed him but I ignored him. For some reason I kept his note in a pocket on my shirt. A pocket close to my heart.

OK, so I was getting stupid and I didn’t know what I was doing but I started getting to my senses when Ronald was doing graffiti on the school wall. I started thinking about Jake and the others. I remembered the time when he gave up school for me and the times when he still smiled to me. I got the note from my pocket and read it again. I remembered what Jakes writing looked like and realised it wasn’t his writing. Jake never liked doing his writing in print. He loved cursive and hated print. It was Ronald’s writing. All this time when I thought that he betrayed me and I betrayed myself and my friends. I ran away to Jake’s house without any clear idea what I was going to do there. I still remember hearing faint sounds of Ronald shouting back at me but I would not listen. It was because of him that I had bad marks. It was because of him that I didn’t speak to Jake for the past couple of weeks. It was all because of him.

As soon as I reached the door of Jake’s house I stopped and thought about what I was going to say. It didn’t matter to me what I said as long as it was nice but I guess the real reason I was there was to say… well… sorry for ignoring him. I still remember knocking rapidly three times on his door. It opened and I saw him. Jake Willus. He looked more handsome since the last time we met but I could see that he had not changed and if he did, it was in a good way. I started babbling things like “I’m really sorry… it was Ronald’s fault not mine… I mean like I didn’t mean to do it” but he listened to none of this. He held up his hand and straight away I could see that he had forgiven me. “I guess it was partly my fault too,” said Jake smiling sadly “I never went up to you and asked what was wrong” I didn’t blame him for anything and we went out into his front garden and sat down. Ryhs, Jarred and Dawei came by and looked at first reluctant to sit down but with the soothing words from Jake they joined us and we had a fine afternoon catching up on what had happened since the time I left them. This was a new beginning.

From then on it was all a happy life. From the hardships in my grade 8 year I learnt a lot of new things and what to believe. I stopped smoking because Jake was patient but firm to help me stop. I went to university with him and Rhys. I became a highschool teacher and Rhys couldn’t get enough of children and as I said earlier, he became a preschool teacher. I married a girl that I met at uni and now we have three grown up kids with children of their own. Jake married too but his wife died from cancer. This was what inspired him to become a cancer researcher. Jarred moved to Germany because his father got a job there and I haven’t seen him since. Dawei had to move to China but I get occasional letters from him.

Why do I write about this now and not before? Jake Willus died a few years ago from the disease he was studying. When I went to his funeral I realised that he didn’t want it to be a mourning of death. He would want it to be a celebration of life. He is survived by his three children but at the age of 51, he showed no signs to be forgotten. I can still feel his magical presence. I wrote this to express my feelings. To show how hard life can be but most of all, to remember Jake Willus.